Tag: peace

It begins with us!

One of my favorite quotes is by Mother Theresa;

“If you want to change the world, go home and love your family”

It’s comforted me in times when I felt like I wasn’t contributing enough to the world, my community and even in my neighborhood because my husband and I chose to have me home full time with our 4 kids.  It was never my calling, it was never my intention!  I was going to be a missionary in some exotic foreign country serving the needs of orphans and villages all across the globe.  I had a purpose and a plan and it was big, it was wide, vast and incredibly adventurous.  So when I got married and we had an instafamily within months and daycare costs just didn’t make sense next to my income, decisions were made and sacrifices were made that ultimately ruled out my personal plans and kept me home, full time and still am 16 years later.

For years I fought resentment and anger towards the unfulfilled dreams and plans I had to serve the less fortunate across the world.  I felt like my contribution was so small and completely unnoticed.  I knew it made sense for us and I knew that my sacrifices were not in vain, but I just simply could not lay these two positions down side by side on a table, analyze their value and consider them to be equal.  It was a daily struggle and I fought it hard.  Then it happened!   I woke up for my normal quiet time with God, sat down with my cup of coffee in hand and once again poured my soul bare before him screaming to understand what my purpose was and why this felt so empty and unfulfilling.  I often journal my time with God and occasionally I will receive such a strong impression on my spirit that it is truly Him that is speaking to me, pen to paper.  Sometimes the words are flying so fast that my hand can’t keep up with what I’m hearing.  God spoke to me loud and clear that morning and told me that I was on a missions trip and I was serving the lesser than and I was 100% in ministry teaching and equipping people….my people, the 4 little humans he so richly blessed me with.  My heart sank as the realization hit me like a ton of bricks and I was immediately filled with incredible joy and excitement but also the weight of what was being asked of me and the job that I had in front of me.

From that moment on, I never looked at my role or parenting in the same light.  I knew that I was on assignment and I knew that my husband and I both had some serious work on our hands to raise these people to be well rounded, honest, contributing members to society who showed respect, humility, kindness and love to any other person they came in contact with.  This has required exhausting moments of intense conversations, painful punishments, meaningful interactions, purposeful engaged time with our children.   We have made it a priority to have sit down family dinners through our week, family movie or game night once a week, both my husband and I take each of our kids on individual dates and spend one on one time with them.  We invest into our kids, we invest into their hearts, minds, souls and spirits.  We’ve said no to cable TV, and limited video games.  We have resisted the begging and pleadings for smart phones and more technology.  We pour as much healthy, pure, holy, light, lovely, joyful, fun, meaningful and inspirational information into their minds, ears and eyes.  We believe that the programming of the mind begins and ends with what we are watching and listening to and monitor that with vigor so as to keep our children sensitive, caring and compassionate humans.  I believe that is the job of every parent on this planet and I know there are a lot of you out there doing it with every fiber of your being and I’m so grateful for the sacrifices you make too!

But then I pause and take a breath and look up and notice that something is shifting in our society, something is changing and I’m finding that there are less and less of my fellow comrades in arms, fighting the same fight for our next generation and there is more and more distraction, division, disillusionment, deception and despair.  More and more parents are both working full time, grueling hours and they are exhausted…I can’t blame them, I honestly don’t know how you do it!  To manage to juggle both and do it well is quite the challenge and hardship and foundations start to crack, things start to slip, priorities start to shift and all the sudden you find that it’s easier to turn an eye, agree to their requests and shew them away for a moment of rest.  Don’t get me wrong, I have had those moments and many of them where I just wanted to cave and just give in to whatever their demands were in hopes of 10 minutes of solitude…I truly can’t imagine if this wasn’t my full-time job and I had to juggle other things as well, please don’t hear judgment!

 

But we have to have this conversation because Parkland, Florida happened and 17 people died…17 lives taken from this earth too early and far too carelessly and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about why and how and what is happening to us.  Of course I thought of my own kids who are in public school and their safety and wanting to protect them from anything like that happening to them, us and our community.  I thought of the Mother Theresa quote and then thought of my own personal sacrifices to raise up this next generation and then I thought of the slips and cracks and the foundation falling apart in our society and wondered..is this where we start?  Do we just raise up as a society of parents and say, “enough excuses!”  Do we stop blaming every dang other thing on this type of behavior and start analyzing where we fit in to the puzzle and how our lives play a key role in all of this?  Our kids are desensitized, they’ve lost their moral code, decency and value system and it’s because WE as their parents have failed them, it’s not their fault that we’ve been too busy to show them what it looks like to revere and respect life, humanity and the basic core values that have been encoded in our DNA for generations but have somehow been shoved to the recesses of our minds because it’s just easier to not uphold them then to take the time to implement them.   ALL LIFE MATTERS!!  Every human on this planet is valuable, important, purposed and planned and until we can look into the face of each other (and this includes the faces that are hiding behind screens) and recognize each others humanity and have care for one another instead of hate – evil will always win and our world will continue to crumble and fall apart.

So, I end with this thought and it takes Mother Theresa’s quote to another level for us as a society.  She says, “if you want to change the world then go home and love your family” and I say, “if you want to change the world then go home and love your family, AND the barista at Starbucks who accidentally got your drink wrong, or the guy who cut you off on your way to work, and the woman in the checkout line who gave you a glare because you have more then 15 items in the express lane, the frustrated neighbor who yelled at you for not bringing in your trash cans or the random stranger who just blew up at you on the street for no apparent reason.  It begins with us and it looks a lot like average, normal, day to day interactions that have an incredible trickle affect on the rest of humanity.  Once we raise our white flag, lay down our pride and quick to be defensive egos and make intentional decisions in our interactions with our loved ones and those we come in contact with daily is when change, REAL change will happen in society…it begins with us!  It begins with me!

To move or not to move, (realities of moving)

To move or not to move, (realities of moving)

You know how Facebook pops up those “memories” that you can decide to share or not share publicly every once in a while.  I’m always shocked when it says, “Where were you 3 years ago, 8 years ago, 2 years ago..etc.  How is it that your experience and reality can seem thousands of miles a part in how they “feel” to you???  3 years ago today I was living in Kirkland, Washington and we were packing our bags for Austin, Texas.  Today, I sit in my Boise, Idaho home and 3 years ago seems like 20 years ago to me!!  Seriously, I lived a lifetime in 3 years and there are lessons I’m continuing to learn throughout this adventure we’ve been on.

I’ve had to come to grips with a very real lesson that I wished I would’ve learned so many years ago and that is, “home” is NOT  a place…it’s just not!  Oh we sit on our sides of the fences and stare at our neighbors with longing eyes and wishful thinking just knowing that “if we only” had that or “that place looks way better” or “if I lived in a sunnier climate, cheaper economy, lower cost of living, better school district”… blah, blah, blah!!  I mean I did this and I did it again in Texas.  Here’s how mine looked, tell me if you relate to this at all.

For 14 years I lived in one of the wettest, dreariest places in our country, Seattle Wa.  It has the highest rate of suicide in our country and MS which they are now linking to lack of Vitamin D, they see an average of 68 days of sun a year..a YEAR y’all!!!  Now listen, I have a deficiency!  I was raised in southern California so my perspective to weather was jaded upon the sheer fact alone that, well, I was ALWAYS in perfect weather.  I’ll never forget my first trip to Seattle from San Diego and I thought I was walking onto a movie of the “Walking Dead” (pre-series), but seriously, everyone was wearing black or grey and they all looked pale, ghostly and like death was just hanging over them.  Here comes overly cheery, bouncy, slightly tanned with a chipper disposition and probably totally obnoxious to those Seattleites self and was slapped in the face with sadness.  Despite seeing this and knowing this, I still made the decision to move, away from family, away from sunshine…..for a guy!  Girls, take note, please don’t ever make life decisions for a guy.  I love my husband and I love my family – we are committed to one another, but our lives have been hard..very hard and I think part of the reason was my initial decision to move and leave my family.

Raising 4 kids without family around on one income in a wet, dreary climate really took its toll on this bubbly girl and I very quickly started hating it…I mean debilitating depression and anger over where I lived and desperately wanting to be back near family and sunshine.  I just had to get outta there and I knew if we could that life would be better, I would be happier, my marriage would be better and our quality of life would greatly improve!  This mentality stayed with me all the way until the moment in our lives when we actually had the opportunity to move out-of-state back in 2013.  My dream finally became my reality and though California wasn’t an option for us, I didn’t care!  I had to get out of Seattle and our next best option was Austin, Texas.  Finally, I thought…finally I’ll be happy, settled, content, joyful again and everything will be so much better.  Oh man…even writing that sentence has me laughing to myself and I just want to go slap that girl silly!

About 3 months living in Texas, I was very quickly reminded of everything I left behind.  In those 14 years living in Seattle I created a family, a community and I had my “people who knew me intimately in a way that even my blood family didn’t and it hurt…it hurt bad!  Not only that but all the sudden you realize the beautiful things that you took for granted on a daily basis, mountains, seasons, lakes, beaches, variety of trees…BEAUTY!!!  Seattle has been likened to a beautiful model whom is always sick and I couldn’t agree more, but my gosh when she’s not sick….when she’s not sick she’s the most majestic creation on this side of eternity and it took me moving to Texas to realize it.  I mourned, cried and became depressed and discontent in Texas.  Life was hard, we were starting over with everything, work, community, home, money – everything from ground up and it was very emotionally and  mentally challenging.  I just wanted to get back to Seattle – I mean I figured it out and I turned from my blind “grass is always greener” ways and just had to get back home to where I belonged.  I’d finally be happy again if I could jut get back to Seattle, (insert eye roll).

My hubby refused to move us back to Seattle due to economic changes, traffic and of course, WEATHER, which he so kindly reminded me of on a daily basis while we were in Texas, “don’t you remember how depressed you were??, you wanted out of there so badly”!  Yea, yea – that was then this was now, things have changed, I know more now – I’ve grown I see more clearly now!  We compromised on Boise, Idaho, great economy, not too big of a town, 4 seasons, low-cost of living, great schools, mountains, lakes, rivers, etc. And here we are…almost a year here and life is perfect, nothing traumatic has happened, we became instant millionaires, my children have excelled in their perfect schools, we’ve settled into a rich community with at least 20 friends that are now like family and I’m finally happy and content in life!  NOT……

Texas may have been hard but quickly after moving to Boise I realized how blessed we were by the community and friendship we had made in just a short 2 year period.  God provided such a rich community to us that the pain of leaving those people almost felt equally as hard as the family we left in Seattle.  All the sudden the realities of Texas became clear and I then mourned and continue to mourn the loss of that place and those friendships.

Starting over is NEVER easy no matter what and almost a year here and we are still struggling in all areas of life.  Hubby still is trying to get business going and we’ve been financially struggling since we moved, still trying to settle into the right community and friendships for our whole family and don’t feel truly connected yet.  Kids have had their struggles in school and we experienced probably the worst winter on record here in Boise, Idaho.  To say that life got “better” since we moved from Texas or even originally from Seattle, would be a statement that wouldn’t work and though I can’t speak for other families that move, I do feel that I’ve learned some hard and important lessons;

1.) Moving is ALWAYS hard, no matter what, where or how.  You are starting over in every area of your life and that is hard, adjusting and painful.  It will take a toll on your family, marriage and finances

2.) If you are constantly looking through lenses that life will be easier, better, more enjoyable in another “place” then the problem is with you not where you live.  My discontented feelings in life has been 10% due to location and 90% due to my attitude and how I looked, (look) at life.  I took for granted all the beautiful things I had in my life in each of the locations I lived in, I looked back at what I had and then longed for that instead of being present in the journey and blessings that were right in front of me

3.) There is no perfect place!  Oh sure you can google, “Best places to live” and there are all sorts of articles on your ideal location but in my opinion every place has it’s good and bad and you have to settle to some degree on something.

4.) People are more important than a place and I learned this one too late after leaving Texas.  I really don’t like Texas and I really didn’t like the town I lived in, but I could have made it work and probably would’ve been happy and content there because of the relationships I had and the community that surrounded me.  At the end of the day you can have a beautiful, fun, adventurous city/town or whatever but if you have no one to share it with and enjoy it with then what’s the point.

5.) My longing goes deeper and I will never be fully happy and content until I am finally in my eternal home with my papa!  It’s hard not to accept that earth is our home and some of you may disagree with me, some of you are fighting for that perfect home here and maybe have even found something really close to it….but there is a longing in all of us, a groaning that we cannot make go away no matter how hard we try, no matter how many times I move it sits with me always.  Accepting this reality has made it possible for me to finally be content in any circumstance.

Boise is ok, it has it’s faults and there’s some things that are a little shocking to me to be honest but I am choosing to stay, choosing to make this place my temporary home and look for the best in it.  I’m trying really hard to not look back and miss what I left behind but strain to look forward and be hopeful for the future as I press on.  I am so grateful for the lessons I’ve learned and how I’ve grown in character from my moving adventures, I’ve sure made some incredible relationships and met some amazing people and for that I am eternally grateful!  Remember, it’s 10% circumstances and 90% attitude so make a decision today to be happy, grateful and live life to the fullest in this moment!

Home

Home

 

Hi from Boise, Idaho!  My family and I have officially relocated ourselves from Dripping Springs, Texas!  Ironically, 2 years ago almost to the day I was staring into my oven in Kirkland, Washington getting ready to relocate to Texas.  Oh the journey I’ve been on these last 2 years and the amazing lessons I’ve learned.

It was June of 2014, I had my 2 best friends and they’re massive clan of children helping me pack up the rest of my stuff to get me out of Washington and on our way to Texas.

20140528_165739 Michael and I were good, we had been good – I’d wanted out of Seattle for so long now that I honestly couldn’t get out of there fast enough and up until this day I was beyond ready, emotionally and physically.  I was antsy for a long time in Seattle, complained about all the things I wished Seattle was but never lived up to for me.  Why couldn’t it have the sun of southern California but the beauty of the PNW??  Why did it have to be so expensive and why in the world were we living in a place on one income that cost so much?  Oh and why didn’t we make more money??  These were just a few of the things that I grumbled about and I knew that moving out of this place was going to fix everything and finally life would be greater and greener!

There I was in my kitchen cleaning the inside of my stove while I had my one friend packing my bathroom, (I still can’t find my husband’s razor), and my other friend packing my living room and it hit me…it hit me like a ton of bricks and for the first time I went into full panic mode and started sobbing hysterically.  The snotty crying that distorts your face in ways your never could if you weren’t crying.  What in the world was I doing??  This was my family, these women, these kids, this place – how do I leave it?  I felt a total lack of peace about all of it and I wanted to change my mind, I wanted to push the stop button and make it all go back to the way it was 2 months prior.  God gives his children a long leash and your playground is wide and vast with lots and lots of options!  This is a great, beautiful and wonderful things to have a father like this!  However,in that moment I wanted him to force it to all stop and control the situation…but He didn’t and He wouldn’t.   Instead, like the amazing, gracious, kind, comforting God that He is, He simply loved on me in a unique and special way in that very moment with my head in the stove.  I was listening to secular music on the radio and on came a song that I honestly can’t believe I could hear the words to over my own personal sobbing.  It was called, “Home” by; Phillip Phillips and here are the words;

Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
‘Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Settle down, it’ll all be clear
Don’t pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone
‘Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Settle down, it’ll all be clear
Don’t pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

I pulled my head out of the stove and pressed on to what I believed was going to be our forever home.  At the time, I had believed that God was telling me Texas was going to be my new home and to settle the heck down, it’ll all be fine and He’s got it!  He did have it, but what He revealed to me over the course of the next 2 years changed my opinion on what exactly He was saying to me through the words of this song.

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We finished up packing our 18ft. trailer, loaded our 4 kids and left Seattle with no job or home waiting for us in Texas, we were seriously living on faith and a prayer for next steps.  Lesson #1 – Sometimes God won’t reveal next steps until we make that first step of faith and trust in Him.  It doesn’t mean that we can be stupid and make unwise decisions, but if we have a spreadsheet of our lives planned out and have every detail marked out then where does God come in?  He wants his children to let go of some of the control and allow Him to reveal His glory in our lives…He loves showing off and when we create opportunities for Him to do that, He will never let us down. Heb 11:1 – “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see“.

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We arrived to Texas in June of 2014 and proceeded to live in our beautiful, pimped out 2002 26ft. trailer for 100 days!  Let me just break that down a little more for you; 4 kids =  2 on the couch that converts to a maybe full size bed, 1 on the dining table that converts to what I think was a twin but was chopped short a couple of inches, 1 on the floor between sofa and dining table in the kitchen.  When you have to step on your children to get coffee in the morning and it doesn’t stop you to retrieve said coffee, that’s when you know you have a possible coffee addiction.

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We also felt that we needed more fun in our trailer and decided that in the middle of  a Texas summer, we should buy a puppy, because surely potty training a new puppy in a 26ft. trailer would be exactly the kind of fun we were looking for.  It was a ride for sure and I couldn’t get out of that trailer fast enough when we finally found a home, but there was some incredible lessons and growth for me during that time.  Lesson #2 – God will allow us to sit in uncomfortable situations for a period of time to grow our characters and strengthen our endurance.  Romans 5:3,4a – “We also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope.”

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Michael and I had this dream of buying a little bit of property, getting some animals, growing a garden and learning to live a simpler life with less chaos from the city.  We thought for sure that life could be so much better for us, easier and way more fun!  We purchased a manufactured home on 2.2 acres in Dripping Springs Texas which sat about 12 miles from the town and over 30 to Austin.  A double wide wasn’t our first choice, but after 100 days of searching and realizing we were going to have to sacrifice the home or the acreage, we caved on the home.

Our initial plan was to tear up the carpet, replace carpet and then move in.  However, when you’re married to a custom home builder and he asks you if you would like to move any walls or cabinetry in the Kitchen before replacing floors, you sometimes say things that you might end up regretting.  We went from tearing up carpet to a full fledged gut and remodel job.20140825_19385620140909_14163720140920_201553

So, as you can see by the above pictures, we really put ourselves in a mess, a hot mess actually!  Here we were in a new city, a new state and living as a family of 6 in a construction zone.  I went from sidewalks and city streets to gravel roads and cows as my rush hour traffic.

The adjustment of moving to a new state, living out of a trailer with 4 kids and a new puppy was monumental, to say the least.  We, however, felt that gutting our new home and living in a construction zone for roughly 7 months would just be a nice way to add to our already overwhelming experience.  During this period of time, I was also getting prepared to put my youngest into full-time school for the first time.  I have always had children and babies at home with me for the past 14 years and honestly can’t remember life before that.  I thought I was excited and ready, “time to myself, wahoo”!   Boy was I wrong.

I remember the day like it was yesterday, I think I was in the first week of school starting.  There I was in my construction zone kitchen, hurdled in a ball on the floor sobbing hysterically.  Whelp, this felt familiar – here I was broken down and what was supposed to be my “greener grass”, felt like sage brush and tumbleweeds and it hurt.  Discontentment started settling into my body and soul again and I found myself desperate to control my situation and GET OUT!!  I wanted out bad, like really bad.  I wanted back to my normal, rain filled, cement laden, tree hugging life in Seattle and with my familiar surroundings.  I was stuck though, really stuck and I knew deep in my soul that there was nothing I could do about it at that moment, but I could control other things and so I did….I immediately went down to the elementary and middle school and yanked my kids out and proceeded to home-school them part time.

 Lesson #3 – Never make extreme decisions in a time of adjustment and chaos, they will most likely always be bad ones.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I have thought in the past of home-schooling my kids and completely admire my friends who do it.  I just don’t think that in a season of newness, adjustment and remodeling our home was it wise to bring all of my children home and try to do something like this.  I had thought, emotionally, I needed them with me to deal with the discontentment  I was feeling in life.  Surely, their presence would fill the void and emptiness I was experiencing.  I quickly learned that there was only one place I could go to get the emptiness filled and help I needed.  Psalm 46:1,2 – “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea”.

God used my brokenness to draw me deeper and further into a personal relationship with Him.  I clung to Him daily as my only real source of strength to get through this time.  I hated where I lived, I hated my home, I hated home-schooling and would daily grumble and complain to Him about it and what He was going to do to change it.   The beautiful thing about our Papa in Heaven is He gave me the complete freedom and grace to complain about my circumstance.  Never once did He shame or condemn me for what I was feeling, He simply comforted me and encouraged me.

Then there was a day, September 24th 2014.  I was struggling to get through another day of home-schooling and the daily routine that I was still having a hard time adjusting to.  It was fall and by golly despite it being 95 degrees outside, I was going to cook something fallish for my family!  I bought a butternut squash and was prepping it to put in the oven.  Anyone who has ever tried to cut a butternut squash can understand the pain of this experience for me, plus I was not in the mood to fight with a squash!  I grabbed it like a football and with the other hand took my machete, (ok it was a knife), and hacked it as hard as I could.  Not only did I not cut the squash, but somehow I managed to cut my finger.20140924_173415

Remember how I shared that I lived 30 minutes from Austin out in the hill country, ya well I was very quickly reminded of that in my panicked state of mind trying to figure out how to stop the bleeding.  Meanwhile, my 3 kids are sitting at the table waiting for their next assignments, screaming that mom just cut off her finger!  I called 911, (maybe an ambulance would be easier than trying to find a local urgent care).  Apparently my phone called the state of Washington 911 and they told me they don’t drive to Texas so I had to figure something else out.  I looked at my kids and made a decision, “you guys stay here, I’m going to wrap my finger and run into a town and look for a place to get stitched”.

I jumped in my SUV and proceeded down my windy, 3 mile stretch of road just to get onto the main hwy that’s going to take me 20 minutes from there to get anywhere, “Please God don’t let me pass out while driving”!  I began sobbing – this was normal now, but this was the one like the head in the stove experience.  Hysterically driving down my Texas road, I turned on the radio and was immediately met with my song, “Home” by Phillip Phillips.  Once again I was comforted in such a unique and sweet way – my finger still hurt and I was still crying, but it was the first time I started looking at everything and this song differently.  It took on a new meaning, or at least the beginning of a new meaning and I started to view what God was saying to me through this song as not an actual physical place.  Eph 3:17 – “That Christ may make His HOME in your hearts through faith, that you, being rooted and grounded in love.”

My finger was stitched, my kids were OK and I was actually able to make it home in time to make my butternut squash for dinner.  Lesson #4 – When you feel in life that you are run down, broken and totally incapable of going on, God is empowered and steps in to pull you through;  2 Cor. 12:9-10 – “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Through my trials and hardships, there were invaluable lessons to be learned and God so sweetly and gentled taught them to me.  He showed me how to truly lean only on Him for comfort and peace and was revealing to me that He is my home and shelter.  There was however a lesson that had yet to be learned and that was the lesson of contentment.  I had friends who had pointed it out and I saw it in myself but wasn’t sure how I was going to weed this ever present sin in my heart?

In April of 2015 Michael and I were invited to go to an orphanage in Kenya, Africa.   A fully paid trip to see if we were the right fit to build a medical center there in the village.  Michael and I spent 12 days with the beautiful people of Eldoret.  Here are a very few of the many pictures I took.

I thought this trip was meant for business, opportunity, a way for the Larson’s to help out an amazing ministry.  Nope – God had other plans!  He rocked me to my very core of discontentment and touched it in a way that only going to a 3rd world country really can.  I saw things that I couldn’t process, poverty on a level that was inhumane.  I kept trying to understand it all…everything was difficult for these people!  Water, food, medicine and even love was something that was a hardship.  Yet – here was the craziest part of it all – they were the happiest people I had ever met.  They had nothing and yet they were so filled with joy – how???   They were experiencing the true “Joy of the Lord” and were filled with so much love in their hearts that they were overflowing.  They had nothing to distract them because they had so little and were able to focus their time and energy on the only lasting thing that really matters – Jesus!

I went home a different person, praise God and the words of Paul echoed in my heart and still remain true for me today; “for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.  I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.  I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”  Phill – 4:11-13.  Lesson #5 – Contentment and joy in life are not by products of our circumstances but decisions and choices of our hearts.  I wake up every day with a thankfulness, not because of what I have but because of who He is and the abundant amount of grace He daily bestows on me.

Once I surrendered myself to God’s plan, learned to be content in any circumstance and began wrapping my arms around Texas and our little home out in the hill country is when God released us from there.  I had to go around a few mountains before I was able to move on to the next lesson that I’m sure I have waiting for me here in Boise, but until I learned the lesson of contentment in a a place I didn’t like, then I couldn’t go.  Lesson #6 – God will leave us sometimes in places of hardship, trial and discomfort until we fully surrender all control to Him and find peace under His wing.

In the end, it was actually Michael who made the final call to move us back to the PNW.  I was actually kinda cool with staying and made the decision in my heart that it would be great.  When we decided as a family to move back, I thought a lot about the Phillip Phillips song and the meaning for me behind it.  At the end of the day it didn’t matter if I lived in Texas, Seattle, Boise, California or even Kenya for Pete’s Sake!  My “Home” was in the arms of my savior and King and as long as I remained in my true home – I could go where ever I wanted – now THAT is true freedom!!